01.07.09

The BWE received what can only be discribed as a bizarre email fom Last Man Standing hopeful, 'Captain' Flash Rodgers, which he titled his 'Preliminary Report'. This self proclaimed 'man from the future' detailed us on what he is calling his first 24 hours in present day.

The following is the unedited email....

PRELIMINARY REPORT

09:12 EARTH TIME: Attempted to access temporal messaging system but unable to make contact. This “internet” must not be able to support such technology as of yet so I am cut off from everyone in my time.

09:17 Purchased a primitive map of my current location printed on some kind of paper. Traded 3 Shktownian gem stones for the map. merchant seemed extremely pleased. Location verified as London, England.

17:55 In an attempt to understand the 21st centuries primitive culture I attended a moving picture theatre to watch a new film called 'Terminator'. Confused.

18:03 Hungered, I found a food service establishment named “The Burger King” and was served by some form of mutant or leper. Again gem stones accepted as currency. Ate small meat object wrapped in plastic. The term Whopper must be what present day types refer to as 'Irony'.

18:31 Drank primitive alcohol substance which is of course banned in the Future. Don't understand appeal. Smells like rat poison.

18:33 Rat-poison like drink doesn't taste half bad with a couple of rocks and a slim line tonic.

19:01 Made the acquaintance of a man called RICK. Rick seemed like a pleasant down on his luck sort or guy. He told me a sob story and bought us both several more rat-poison like beverages. I am becoming acclimatized to the taste.

19:06 "It was the heat of the moment"..! I love that song. Rick is talking but slurring his words. I can't really hear what he's saying. Rick thinks the future is "cooooooool". Alcohol seems to be taking affect on us both. The room is spinning. More drinks

21:00 Rick doesn't know me... none of you know me!! Except this bartender.

21:02 Apologized to Rick.

21:04 The “Whopper” came back up in liquid form onto Rick’s shoes. He doesn’t seam happy. I feel better.

21:24 Rick lost? but we were gonna go find Cherry, his long lost love. NEW PLAN: Find Rick. and maybe make love to Cherry...

22:31 Found place called "Abra Kebab-ra". Some kind of combination Slaughter house and eatery. Approached by some locals. They seem intoxicated. One waves at me in a peculiar fashion using only his middle finger on his right hand. Must be a local custom. I return the gesture.

22:33 Accused by gang of locals for being a “F***ing mentalist” after assuring them I meant them no harm and was merely familiarizing myself with their time frame I complimented their female for her natural radiance and beauty despite her orange skin and odd odor emanating from her. They then became aggressive.

22:45 After dispatching the 5 males and making sure they would not pursue their aggressive behavior further I left to find lodgings for the evening.

23:20 Horrendous smell coming from a large Garbage receptacle required further investigation. Small poorly dressed man found inside who identified himself as being called “TRASH!”. Further study of this human is required.